Last Updated on August 16, 2023 by Angela Vaz
There is no relationship without arguments or differences.
If that’s the case, then both partners aren’t being too honest with each other.
In love, we do have disagreements and clashes of opinions.
It’s part of every healthy relationship.
What matters isn’t the absence of these conflicts but how we deal with them as a couple.
After a nasty argument or disagreement, emotions are still simmering, and words can be said in the heat of the moment; sometimes, it’s natural to question the state of your relationship.
It’s normal, especially if you’ve had bad relationships in the past.
So you may be wondering if he still loves you.
Or is the connection you share strong enough to weather this horrible argument?
In this blog post, I’m going to tell you 17 true signs he loves you even after a fight.
Let’s dive in.
1. He openly communicates with you
If he’s the kind of guy that huffs and puffs but actually wants to talk about what happened after the fight or anytime during – you’ve found yourself a keeper.
This is the mark of an emotionally mature lad.
Maybe he’s in a bad mood, but at the same time, it’s not sitting right with him, and he wants to clear the air.
This strongly signifies that he loves you and wants to understand your origins.
At the very least, he wants to move past this argument so that you can put it in the past and start your normal routine.
Open communication is always a pro.
It’s never a con in any sense.
So, if he’s listening to what you’re saying, asking open-ended questions, and trying to bite his tongue from saying what he thinks – he’s doing it right.
This shows that he is genuinely interested in what you have to say.
2. He apologizes sincerely
It’s quite rare to find a person who apologizes from the heart, sometimes even when they’re not wrong.
If he is sincere in his apology, you’ll know because it won’t be in the form of gaslighting.
A sincere apology means he’s taking responsibility for everything he said during the argument – and this is real love.
It means he wants to make things right and not just throw water all over it.
This shows humility and self-awareness.
If he’s expressing regret and not coming up with excuses, he genuinely loves you and wants you to remain a huge part of his life.
He may even offer to make up for it, like watching a movie you want to see or having a dinner date together – these are all good characteristics and signs that he loves you.
3. He actively listens
You’re good if you’re trying to make up, and he’s listening to you without interrupting you or belittling your emotions.
If he’s maintaining eye contact with you and giving you his undivided attention while patiently listening to you talk.
Seriously, finding a good listener is rare, and this is a sign of an emotionally mature chap.
He may ask questions for clarification and even sum up what you’ve said – these are all signs that he’s a good listener and that he and you will be okay.
4. He is non-defensive
It’s okay to be defensive occasionally – we all have our egos that need to be tamed and sometimes we react due to instinct to protect ourselves.
But if he’s constantly on the defensive every time you bring up something – then you’re with a person with a very closed mind – an immature person.
However, if he’s non-defensive, calm after a fight, and is trying to find a solution to the problem despite all the rising emotions, you’ve found yourself a problem-solver.
If he never resorts to name-calling and is genuinely trying to find a solution while trying to stay calm – he is an emotionally mature person.
And this is a sign that he loves you and wants to make things work.
It means you’ve found yourself a person who values you and what you bring to the relationship more than his own ego.
This means you can express yourself safely. You’ve found a man you can be yourself with.
5. He brings you emotional comfort
I remember when my engagement ring got stolen a month ago- I was a mess.
My current partner did not freak out.
I expected him to blame me ever so slightly or at least say, “I told you so. I told you not to leave it lying around the house.”
But instead, my partner said, “It’s just a thing. You’re safe, and I am safe. We are healthy, and we are not for lack of money. We can buy it again. Stop worrying. It’s alright.”
It’s such a tiny example from my life, but it changed how I saw him.
I always knew he was emotionally comforting, but I never knew the extent. After my first marriage with my abusive ex, I’ve always been iffy with marriage.
But this particular statement changed everything, and I (if that’s possible) fell even more in love with my partner.
If your partner can steady you, calm you, and bring you emotional comfort when you’re anxious or upset – you’ve found someone who loves you very deeply.
And you’ve landed yourself a good guy.
He may check in on you even after a fight to ensure you’re okay. He will not stonewall you but show you he loves you by doing little things around the house.
Pay attention to all the little things.
6. He compromises
When I say compromise – I do mean a healthy compromise.
When you both compromise, you should still be happy with your decision. And the compromise shouldn’t go against your values or core beliefs.
So, let’s say you have an argument with your partner, and he’s compromising – he truly does care about you.
It means he prefers not getting his way just so both of you can get what you want to a large extent.
It also means that he respects you enough and values open communication because he is trying to find some middle ground so that you can move forward.
7. He initiates physical contact
After a fight, when emotions may still be running high, initiating physical contact is a meaningful sign that he loves you and wants to reconnect on an emotional level.
Just by touching you, it will help bridge the emotional gap and give you that assurance that things are okay.
Some examples might be:
- Holding Hands: He reaches out to hold your hand, meaning he desires to be close to you.
- Hugging: He initiates hugs, providing comfort and warmth. Hugs can convey feelings of safety, reassurance, and care.
- Cuddling: He may engage in cuddling or physical closeness, which fosters intimacy and emotional connection.
- Kisses: He may kiss you or peck you on the cheek.
- Physical Proximity: He intentionally spends time physically close to you, whether by sitting close or leaning in, to show his commitment to being emotionally connected.
- Comforting Gestures: He may place a hand on your shoulder or give a gentle back rub to provide comfort and alleviate any residual tension.
This matters because sometimes touch expresses emotions words cannot. I am usually very touchy, and after an argument, I’ll try to bridge the gap with my partner as much as possible by sitting on him and hugging him.
When he initiates physical contact after a fight, it indicates his willingness to heal and restore the emotional bond between you both.
These gestures of physical affection create a sense of safety and emotional closeness, allowing you both to move forward from the conflict.
So, appreciate it – it means a lot.
8. He respects boundaries
I think sometimes we can spend our whole lives learning to draw boundaries and respecting other people’s boundaries.
I wish they taught this in school – I had to learn this as an adult, and it’s quite unbelievable.
It’s a skill everyone needs to possess.
If you walk away and he respects your boundaries without forcing you to talk or pushing you and prodding you – he respects you.
It also means he understands things are heated right now, and he’s willing to wait till you and he calm down.
9. He knows when to pick a fight
I’ve seen many couples pick fights when the other is busy.
Sometimes one partner may be at work, or friends surround them. And this is the worst time to pick a fight.
So, if he waits patiently till you come home to sort out your differences, you know you’ve found a very emotionally mature person.
He knows you can’t say all you have to say in front of others and he chooses a good time to bring up difficult issues.
This says a lot about him.
Even if you’re busy with work or a hobby and you ask him to wait and he does – you know that this person is mature enough to understand when to pick a fight.
This is what it means to be in a healthy relationship.
Because as I said earlier, you are going to have disagreements, but the timing and the intensity matter.
10. He is patient
Displaying patience after a fight is a significant sign of his love and commitment to the relationship.
Patience involves giving each other time and space to process emotions and work through disagreements rather than rushing to a resolution.
Here’s what I mean by that:
- Respecting Emotional Processing: He respects your need for time to process your emotions and thoughts after a fight, acknowledging that you both need time to cool down and reflect.
- Avoids Pressure: He refrains from pressuring you to resolve the conflict immediately, understanding that rushing may lead to further misunderstandings.
- Gives Space: He provides physical and emotional space if you need it, recognizing that distance can sometimes help both partners gain perspective.
- Acknowledging Different Paces: He understands that you and he might have different timelines for moving past the conflict and respects those differences.
- Remains Available: Despite giving space, he lets you know that he’s available if you want to talk or share your feelings. This balance shows his commitment to staying connected while allowing room for processing.
- Stays Calm: He remains calm and patient himself, avoiding pressuring you or escalating any tension that might still be present.
- Values Long-Term Growth: His patience reflects his focus on the long-term growth and stability of the relationship rather than seeking quick fixes.
If you have a patient partner and practice open communication, you’ve found a person you can have a healthy relationship with.
Trust me.
When he shows patience after a fight, he tells you that he respects your relationship and knows solving a problem takes time.
He is giving you time to process the argument, and he’s also taking some time off.
He understands that you both need time to reflect, which is a sign of maturity.
11. He reassures future commitment
When you’re with an emotionally mature person, you are with someone that isn’t going to walk away after an argument.
He may say things like,
- You know I love you.
- This doesn’t change the fact that I still want to marry you
- I know we’re fighting, but I am not going anywhere
- I’m taking a walk to clear my head, but I’m going to be back, and we’ll discuss this
- I want to sort this out because I know we will live together all our lives and must find a solution.
If he reaffirms that you both are going to be together no matter what, know that he’s serious about this relationship and he loves you.
12. He continues to show affection
If he is in a huff but still cares for you and goes out of his way to ensure you’re safe and taken care of – know that he loves you.
These are all signs that he’s never going to let you go.
Continuing to show affection and maintain normal relationship routines after a fight clearly shows his love, resilience, and commitment to the relationship.
Here’s what that may look like:
- Maintaining Everyday Acts: He continues to engage in everyday acts of affection, such as saying “I love you,” giving compliments, or sharing smiles.
- Physical Touch: He engages in physical touch that conveys warmth and intimacy, such as hugs, kisses, and cuddling, reaffirming the emotional bond.
- Quality Time: He spends quality time with you, engaging in activities you both enjoy, showing his dedication to maintaining a positive relationship.
- Playfulness: He engages in playful banter or activities that bring joy, helping to alleviate any lingering tension and restore a sense of normalcy.
- Thoughtful Gestures: He continues to make thoughtful gestures like bringing you your favorite snack or coffee or leaving you a sweet note, expressing his affection in tangible ways.
- Verbal Affirmations: He verbalizes his love and commitment through words of affirmation, ensuring you know that his feelings are unwavering.
- Consistency: His consistent affectionate behavior underscores that the fight was a temporary challenge and doesn’t define the overall tone of the relationship.
This is a sign that he loves you and takes this relationship seriously.
It means he doesn’t undermine the strength of your relationship and he’s determined to make it work.
13. He makes a genuine attempt to change
When he sincerely tries to change his behavior or address the issues that led to the fight, it’s a significant sign of his love, growth, and commitment to the relationship.
This means that he’s clear about not repeating the mistake and takes you and this relationship seriously!
It could mean:
- Self-Reflection: He takes time to reflect on his actions, words, and behavior during the fight, acknowledging where he might have contributed to the conflict.
- Acknowledgment of Mistakes: He openly acknowledges his mistakes and takes responsibility for any hurtful actions or words he used.
- Action Plan: He outlines a plan to make changes or improvements in his behavior or communication style to prevent similar conflicts from arising.
- Open to Feedback: He wants to hear your feedback and is keen on improving.
- Seeking Support: He might seek guidance from self-help resources, relationship books, or counseling to gain insight into better conflict resolution.
- Patience with Progress: He remains patient with himself as he works on changing certain behaviors or communication patterns, understanding that growth takes time.
Finding a person that is self-aware and strives to be better is what we all aim to look for in a partner.
This means he values the relationship so much, he’s willing to put in the work!
And that brings us to the end of this long, long list.
Please note: (Trigger Warning: Contains mentions of abuse)
If a man hits you or abuses you emotionally, no amount of apologizing or fussing over you afterward should be tolerated.
Please leave.
My first ex would do this – he’d hit me and then gaslight me into believing I was wrong until I said sorry. He’d repeat the words, “Look what you made me do.” or “You’ve made me a monster. I hate being like this.” And it would be me that apologized.
I genuinely believed that I would make him upset, and that’s why it led to abuse.
No amount of trying to fix the relationship worked. Obviously.
It never works.
Leave.
It will only get worse, and the abuse only becomes worse. It gets worse to the point where the apologies never come.
I am including my own experience because I want you to know that abuse should not be taken lightly.
This is not a fight – this is simply abuse.
Do not tolerate physical/emotional/mental abuse – walk away.
Please know that all relationships have disagreements. But when 2 people are emotionally mature – they talk about those differences and resolve them with words.
Not by hitting, gaslighting or threatening one another.
Do not tolerate abuse of any kind. These are things you cannot forgive.
I am very thankful that I am now with a man who loves and appreciates me. I’m glad I left my abusive relationship. I never would have found happiness had I to say with my abuser.
Conclusion
I hope this post helped highlight all the signs he loves you after a fight.
Please see the bright side to every argument.
Every argument shows you more about this person you are with and also provides more clarity.
Please remember that no relationship is perfect, but how you both deal with one another and move forward is what matters.
Here are a few more posts you may find helpful:
- 22 subtle signs he will never let you go
- 7 real signs why you attract guys with mommy issues
- 7 reasons why your boyfriend never takes you out
- 13 reasons you feel lonely in a marriage + how to fix it
- 13 devastating things you should never forgive in a relationship
- 7 ways to be more bold in a relationship
- The real reason why your boyfriend never gets jealous
- 11 real reasons why you attract broken guys + how to fix it
