It always starts the same way.
You tell yourself you’re just gonna check once.
Just to see if he’s posted anything. Maybe you want to know if he seems sad. Maybe you’re hoping he misses you.
Maybe you’re scared he’s already moved on.
So you go to his profile.
You see a song lyric in his story that might be about you. You notice he followed some girl who looks vaguely like your worst insecurity.
You spiral. Suddenly it’s 2am and you’re deep-stalking her page, wondering if they met already or if you’re just being crazy.
Although I’ve not been there, I have a very close friend who’s ben in this situation.
But here’s the truth no one wants to say: checking his socials doesn’t bring closure.
It brings chaos.
Every time you peek at his life, you’re pulling the scab off your healing heart.
And trust me, you deserve peace.
You deserve your dignity back.
So if you’re stuck in the loop of creeping, here’s how to stop checking his socials after a breakup—for real.
1. Be Brutally Honest With Yourself
Ask yourself: Why do I keep checking?
Are you hoping he’s miserable?
Are you lowkey wishing he’ll post a sad quote that’s clearly about you? Are you trying to “win” the breakup by seeing if you look happier than him?
Whatever it is, get honest. Knowing your “why” will help you break the habit.
And it’s okay to admit it’s because you still love him. That kind of honesty is what gets you to freedom.
Also, please know that you can still be in love with him, miss him and know that he’s not right for you.
Remember, it’s okay to not be with a person despite loving them.
2. Mute, Block, or Unfollow (Yes, Even If It Feels Petty)
You don’t have to block him out of anger.
You can do it out of self-respect.
Mute his stories.
Block him if you need to.
Unfollow accounts that make you spiral (yes, even his friends). You don’t need to watch his life like it’s your favorite show.
Think of it like this: you’re not being dramatic. You’re creating boundaries your healing needs.
3. Delete the App Temporarily
I genuinely despise Instagram. It’s such a time-suck and although it feels good at the time of using it, it makes me feel so unproductive after.
So, I can honestly say that this one one helped me more than I expected.
I would keep open my messages with my ex just to get a feel of his chat, and I realized that it was not helping me.
You don’t have to delete your whole account—just the app. Take Instagram, Snapchat, or TikTok off your phone for a few days.
Create space for your brain to breathe.
Break the reflex of opening his page the second you’re feeling low.
And no, you won’t miss anything important.
You’ll just miss unnecessary pain.
4. Replace the Scroll With Something That Heals
When the urge hits to check his page, do something else.
Anything.
Text a friend. Go for a walk. Journal. Watch a comfort show. Paint your nails. Drink some water and romanticize your single life.
Create a breakup toolkit.
Mine had a playlist, a Pinterest board of outfit inspo, and a note in my phone where I brain-dumped all the things I wish I could say to him. It helped. A lot.
I wrote notes to myself to make myself feel better. There were mainly reminders of why the relationship ended. This helped me move on.
5. Write Down What You Don’t See on His Page
His socials are a highlight reel.
You know this.
He’s not posting the nights he couldn’t sleep. He’s not tagging the heartbreak. He’s not going live during his therapy sessions (if he’s even going).
Write down the things you know he’s feeling but would never post.
Remind yourself that his feed isn’t proof he’s over you—it’s just proof he knows how to curate a profile.
6. Let Your Heart Be Mad. Or Sad. Or Both.
You don’t need to be “chill” about the breakup.
It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to admit that you’re obsessing.
Everyone reacts in different ways and there is no right or wrong way to feel.
Sometimes we check their socials because we don’t feel allowed to grieve out loud.
But feelings need outlets.
Give yourself permission to feel it all—offline.
7. Make a “Reasons I’m Better Off” List
This sounds cheesy, but it’s magic.
Make a list on your phone called “Reasons I’m Better Without Him.” Every time you want to check his page, open that list instead.
This is what really helped me get through my breakup.
Write down the red flags.
The little ways he made you feel small. The times you knew deep down you deserved more.
That list will become your armor.
It will help you take your power back, one bullet point at a time.
These helped me understand why the relationship ended and it helped me see the truth.
8. Remind Yourself What You’re Actually Missing
Sometimes we check because we think we’re missing him—but are we really?
Ask yourself: are you missing the real relationship, or just the idea of it? The comfort? The routine? The way he made you feel for the first few weeks?
Dig into that.
Remind yourself of the version of him you keep replaying in your head… and then write down all the ways the reality didn’t match.
It helps.
It brings you back to truth, instead of fantasy.
You’re not missing your forever. You’re missing someone who hurt you.
9. Talk to a Friend Who Gets It
I spoke to my close friend everytime I felt like contacting my ex or looking him up.
Find your breakup buddy.
The friend you can text and say, “Ugh, I almost checked his TikTok again.”
The friend who won’t judge you, who’ll talk you down from the spiral, who might even hold your phone hostage for a bit.
Let someone remind you why you’re doing this.
You don’t have to go through it alone.
10. Celebrate Every Day You Don’t Check
Treat it like a streak.
Day 1? You made it 24 hours. Amazing.
Day 3? You didn’t even think about checking. Incredible.
Celebrate every tiny win.
It means your brain is rewiring. Your heart is learning how to be full again—without needing updates on his life.
Final Thoughts
I know how tempting it is to scroll through his stories, hoping for a sign, a signal, a crumb of anything that makes it hurt less.
But it won’t make it better.
It just keeps you stuck.
Healing after a breakup is messy.
Some days you’ll feel strong, some days you’ll feel like a mess. But you don’t have to punish yourself by reliving him over and over again on your screen.
You are allowed to unfollow.
To disconnect.
To put your peace above your curiosity.
And if you mess up and peek again? It’s okay. You’re still healing. Just close the tab and come back to you.
Because you? You’re worth more than any highlight reel.
You’re real.
You’re healing.
And you’re going to be okay.
