Last Updated on February 27, 2025 by Angela Vaz
Because Sometimes, “Goodbye” Never Comes, and That’s the Hardest Part
Not every love story gets a proper ending.
I know because I’ve been there.
After my ex husband cheated on me, I was single for a while before I met another man. He was kind, loving and very patient.
We lived together for a whole year before he just up and left. He gave vague excuses and none of them conveyed the true meaning of why he wanted to call it quits.
It was dreadful because I didn’t have closure.
I’ve talked to a lot of friends who’ve been through similar situations.
Sometimes, the person you love walks away without an explanation.
Sometimes, they ghost you after months (or years) of being together.
Sometimes, they end things with vague words like, “I just need space” or “It’s not you, it’s me,” leaving you with more questions than answers.
And now, you’re stuck in the hardest part of heartbreak—the not knowing.
Not knowing why it ended.
Not knowing if it was real for them. Not knowing if they ever really cared.
And how do you move on from something when you don’t even understand what happened?
It feels impossible.
It feels unfair.
It feels like you’re trapped in an endless loop of overthinking, trying to make sense of something that might never make sense.
But here’s the truth: closure isn’t something they give you. It’s something you create for yourself.
And I know that sounds frustrating. I know you want answers.
I know you want that one final conversation that will bring you peace.
But if they can’t respect you enough to give you clarity, then you need to find peace on your own.
So, how do you do that? How do you move on from a breakup without closure?
Let’s talk about it.
1. Accept That You May Never Get the Answers You Want
The hardest part of moving on without closure is realizing that you may never know why it ended.
And that’s a tough pill to swallow.
Because deep down, you think: If I just knew why, I could move on.
But would you?
Would knowing why really change the fact that they left? Would it take away the pain? Or would it just give you something else to obsess over?
The truth is, the “why” doesn’t change the reality.
They’re gone.
And no amount of analyzing their last text or replaying your last conversation will bring them back.
My best friend repeated this to me over and over again, “Angela, even if you knew why he left, it wouldn’t change a thing. He’d still be gone.”
You have to make peace with the fact that some stories don’t get a final chapter. And that’s okay.
2. Stop Romanticizing the Past
It’s so easy to put them on a pedestal when they’re gone.
To remember only the good times. To convince yourself that they were the best thing that ever happened to you.
But let’s be real.
If they were truly that great, they wouldn’t have left you like this.
They wouldn’t have disappeared without a word.
They wouldn’t have treated your heart like it was disposable.
They weren’t perfect. And neither was your relationship.
It’s very difficult to accept this, but you will with time.
So, every time your mind tries to paint them as this flawless, amazing person who you’ll never find again, remind yourself of the truth.
Because the truth is: that someone who loves you wouldn’t leave you searching for closure.
3. Write the Closure Letter You’ll Never Send
Since you’ll never get the answers you want from them, it’s time to give yourself your own closure.
One of the best ways to do this is to write a letter.
Not to send it, but to release everything you’ve been holding inside.
You don’t need to convince them that they wronged you.
Do this for yourself.
Write everything you wish you could say to them. The good, the bad, the pain, the anger. Let it all out.
Tell them how much they hurt you.
Tell them how confused you feel. Tell them how you deserved more.
And then, when you’re ready, burn it. Rip it up. Delete it.
Because that’s you releasing them. That’s you choosing to move on.
4. Cut Off Contact Completely (Even If It Hurts)
I know.
You want to check their Instagram. You want to see if they’re watching your stories.
You want to text them one last time.
But every time you do that, you’re reopening the wound.
So, if they ghosted you? Block them.
If they left you with no explanation? Unfollow them.
If they’re still lingering in your life but not giving you real answers? Walk away.
You don’t owe them access to you. Especially not after they disrespected you by leaving you in the dark.
Every time you check their social media, every time you hold onto hope that they’ll reach out, you’re stopping yourself from healing.
It’s time to let them go. For real.
5. Stop Looking for Closure in Their Actions
You might be waiting for some kind of “sign” from them—some moment where they reach out and apologize, or finally explain why they left.
But what if that never happens?
What if they do reach out, but it’s just to check in, not to give you real closure? What if they move on like nothing happened?
Would you stay stuck in this heartbreak forever?
You can’t let their lack of accountability control your healing. You have to decide that you’re done waiting for answers that may never come.
You don’t need them to explain why they left to know that you deserve better.
6. Redirect Your Energy Back to Yourself
When you’re heartbroken, it feels like your whole world revolves around them.
So, now it’s time to make your world about you again.
- Start a new hobby.
- Go to the gym.
- Book that trip.
- Try something you’ve always wanted to do.
- Focus on becoming the best version of yourself.
The more you build a life that excites you, the less you’ll feel the need to look back.
Your life is yours, not theirs. It’s time to start living like it.
7. Forgive Them—Not for Them, but for You
Let’s be clear: forgiveness doesn’t mean you excuse what they did.
It doesn’t mean you’re okay with how they treated you.
It doesn’t mean you let them back into your life.
It means you refuse to let their actions keep hurting you.
You don’t forgive them to make them feel better. You forgive them so you can set yourself free.
Because the longer you hold onto resentment, the longer you stay emotionally tied to them.
And they don’t deserve space in your heart anymore.
Final Thoughts: Your Closure Comes From You
I know it’s unfair.
I know it hurts. I know you wanted one last conversation.
One last explanation. One last chance to say everything you needed to say.
But if they didn’t respect you enough to give you that, then they don’t deserve your heartbreak.
So, here’s your closure:
- You were enough.
- You deserved better.
- They weren’t your person, and that’s okay.
- This isn’t the end of your story—it’s just the end of their chapter.
One day, you’ll look back at this and realize you never needed an explanation. You just needed time, healing, and the courage to move on.
And that’s exactly what you’re doing.
You’ve got this.
Here are a few more posts that might help:
How to heal from a painful breakup when you still love him
How to heal from intense emotional pain
13 signs you are healing from a painful breakup
7 best breakup books you need to read now
Can’t stand the thought of her with someone else? Read this
Why does no one understand you? Read this
Why does nobody love me? How to feel love
How to get over the intense emotional pain when you miss your ex
