Last Updated on January 30, 2025 by Angela Vaz
When I was a teenager, I vowed I’d never become like women who feared growing older and took offense when they were asked their age.
But I hit my 30s.
And everything changed.
I noticed gray hairs popping up, the out-of-the-blue body aches, and under-eye wrinkles.
My metabolism slowed down and I noticed it was trickier keeping the weight off.
Don’t get me wrong, I still work out and love to walk with my dogs every day.
But I noticed a subtle shift in my mentality.
I started becoming anxious about my birthdays.
Not just in a casual, “Oh no, another birthday!” kind of way, but in a deep, unsettling fear that would creep up on me in the quiet moments.
I’d catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and wonder if I’d changed if I was losing the person I used to be.
I’d scroll through old photos, tracing the lines of my younger self, feeling a strange mix of nostalgia and grief.
It wasn’t just about wrinkles or gray hairs—it was about time.
The slow but unstoppable passage of it.
The realization that moments were slipping through my fingers, that the people I loved were aging too, that nothing ever stays the same.
And the scariest part?
The world doesn’t stop moving forward, no matter how much I wish I could press pause.
For so long, I believed aging meant losing.
Losing beauty, losing opportunity, losing relevance.
But one day, something shifted.
Maybe it was watching my partner’s mum nearing 65 and still finding joy in the simple things.
Maybe it was a deep conversation with a friend who reminded me that every year we get to live is a privilege, not a punishment.
Maybe it was simply the exhaustion of fighting a battle I knew I couldn’t win.
So, I decided to change the narrative.
Instead of resisting aging, I started embracing it.
Here’s how I did it—and how you can too.
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1. Acknowledge Your Fears (But Don’t Let Them Define You)
It’s okay to be scared of aging.
It’s a common fear.
Please understand that we live in a world that glorifies youth, where wrinkles are something to “fix” and gray hair is something to “cover up.”
it’s especially more difficult for us women because people don’t like women looking their age.
The message is clear: younger is better.
No wonder we struggle with growing older.
This is why the media constantly airbrushes women and make them look like Barbie Dolls.
This is a rant for a whole other article.
But here’s the thing—fear only has power when we refuse to face it.
Instead of pushing away those thoughts, acknowledge them.
Ask yourself: What am I really afraid of? Is it the physical changes? The fear of becoming irrelevant? The uncertainty of what the future holds?
Once you name your fear, it loses its grip on you.
You realize that aging isn’t the enemy—it’s just another chapter of life.
For instant, I worried that I might start losing mobility and becoming weaker, that’s why I started lifting weights and increasing my daily movement. I want to be strong and fit as I grow older.
2. Shift Your Perspective: Aging is a Privilege
Not everyone gets to grow old.
This is something that hit me hard when I started losing people in my life.
I lost my mom when she was in her 50s due to 4th stage breast cancer. I discuss that in this post, How to Watch Your Mom Die Slowly.
And it made me realize that aging is not a curse.
It’s a gift.
Every wrinkle, every laugh line, every gray hair is proof that we have lived, that we have loved, that we have been here.
Instead of seeing aging as something to dread, try seeing it as evidence of a life well-lived.
When you look at it that way, suddenly, aging doesn’t feel so scary.
It feels like something to cherish.
Think about all the things you want to do?
I currently love playing board games and reading and every book I finish makes me feel like I just went on a whole new adventure. I want to be able to read some more and experience more stories.
I also want to make many more friends and try new food.
3. Redefine Beauty on Your Own Terms
We’ve been taught that beauty belongs to the young.
But that’s simply not true.
Beauty evolves.
It deepens, it shifts, and it becomes more layered and meaningful.
Every time I listen to a smart person who’s wise, I suddenly see them in a new light.
As we age, we become more experienced and wise. It’s so beautiful to watch people become more open-minded and loving.
Think about the most captivating people you know.
Chances are, their beauty isn’t just about how they look—it’s about the energy they carry, the kindness in their eyes, and the confidence in their presence.
Instead of chasing youth, focus on radiance.
Take care of yourself—not because you’re trying to fight aging, but because you love yourself.
Eat nourishing foods.
Move your body.
Take care of your skin.
Dress in ways that make you feel amazing. Embrace the version of beauty that feels right for you.
Because true beauty isn’t about looking younger.
It’s about looking like the best version of you!
4. Find Joy in Every Stage of Life
Every season of life brings something different.
Your 20s may have been about exploration.
Your 30s about building.
Your 40s and beyond?
They can be about deep, meaningful joy!
Instead of mourning what’s behind you, start focusing on what’s ahead.
- What new experiences can you embrace?
- What hobbies have you always wanted to try?
- What relationships can you deepen?
- What dreams can you still chase?
Aging doesn’t mean settling.
It means evolving.
And that’s a beautiful thing.
5. Cultivate Meaningful Connections
One of the best ways to make peace with growing older is to surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you.
Whether it’s family, friends, or even a community of like-minded people, relationships bring richness to life.
Spend time with people who remind you of who you are.
People who see your value beyond your age.
People who make you laugh, who challenge you, who make this journey through life feel worth it.
Because at the end of the day, the most beautiful parts of life are not the years themselves, but who we spend them with.
6. Let Go of the Pressure to “Have It All Figured Out”
There’s this myth that we’re supposed to have life all figured out by a certain age.
That by 30, 40, or 50, we should have it all together.
But the truth?
No one ever really figures it all out.
Life is always changing.
We’re always learning.
We’re always growing.
There’s no deadline for self-discovery.
So if you feel like you’re still figuring things out, that’s okay.
You’re not behind.
You’re right where you’re supposed to be. =)
7. Celebrate Yourself—At Every Age
Instead of focusing on what you’re leaving behind, start celebrating what you’re gaining.
More wisdom.
More resilience.
More stories.
More depth.
Throw yourself a birthday party.
Take yourself out on a date. Look in the mirror and appreciate the person looking back at you.
Aging isn’t about losing yourself. It’s about becoming yourself—fully, unapologetically, beautifully.
Final Thoughts
Making peace with growing older isn’t always easy.
Society tells us to fear it.
Our insecurities whisper that we’re running out of time. But the truth? Aging is just another part of living. It’s not something to resist—it’s something to embrace.
So, here’s my challenge to you: Start seeing the beauty in where you are right now. Not in the past. Not in the future. But at this very moment.
Because one day, you’ll look back on today and realize—this was a time worth cherishing too.
