How I learned to be happy without friends

Last Updated on August 15, 2023 by Angela Vaz

Is it truly possible to be happy without friends?

As a person who’s actually been through this situation multiple times, I can tell you that it is no doubt somewhat hard but it is possible to be happy and find meaning in your life without friends.

In this post, I’m going to share my experiences as well as give you tips that have worked for me and other people who had no friends but still found meaning in their lives and found happiness!

A little backstory:

I am an only child and I was born and brought up in a country where I was over-protected and sheltered. I had little to no friends growing up.

There were definitely moments when I craved attention and love, or a sense of being surrounded by constant chitter-chatter. My parents worked full-time jobs and I had zero social life.

Back then, mental health and self-awareness weren’t as widespread as it is right now.

But I was extremely lonely.

I constantly played video games and focussed on drawing. Those two hobbies paved the way for me to find my ultimate joy in life – creating and having fun doing it.

I found myself alone as an adult after my long-term abusive relationship came to an end. I had to start from scratch – reconnecting with the friends I lost and building new friendships again.

Needless to say, I’ve had my fair share of experiences living alone and I have honestly learned how to be happy without friends.

So no matter what your circumstance is:

You’ve moved to a new city and have no friends
You have trouble fitting in and currently have no friends
You prefer your own company and prefer being alone
You’ve found yourself in a situation where you have no friends
Or you have friends but most of them are busy with their own lives

I will help you with a couple of tips so you can learn how to be happy without friends.

But before that really quick, get my free guide on how to really reset your life.

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Is happiness possible without friends?

As human beings who are extremely social creatures, we do crave some amount of validation and being part of a community.

But there is so much more to life than having friends.

It is just one part of the puzzle.

A fulfilling life can be achieved by multiple factors – like a life’s purpose or personal goals, a need to contribute to the welfare of society, having a fulfilling job or career, seeing your role as a parent, sibling, or child, having a project to look forward to, it’s endless!

So, yes, your happiness meter can be filled with multiple other activities. Let’s explore them!

How to be happy without friends

1. Learn to love yourself

Understand that self-love is very important if you want to be happy.

Self-love simply means caring for yourself and fulfilling all your needs and loving yourself for who you really are.

See to it that you are feeding yourself, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Taking care of yourself physically involves eating healthy foods and exercising.

Mentally, it could mean stimulating yourself intellectually by reading or watching courses to help you develop certain skills.

Know that nothing in this world can make you happy if you are not happy by yourself.

You are merely distracting yourself from your problems if you are looking for ways to not spend time alone.

When you start loving yourself and caring for your needs, you automatically gain confidence and become happy!

2. Understand your needs

Know that your self-worth is not dependent on your connections with society or your friends.

Some people like being around a lot of people. Some don’t.

Understand what your needs are and feel confident about them.

It’s okay to want to spend time alone and not be around people all the time.

Ask yourself what is it that you are looking for in a friend and do not settle for less.

If you just like hanging out with your colleagues once in a while or chilling at parties occasionally, that’s okay.

If you want a friend that you can talk to whenever you are mulling over something or develop a much stronger relationship with another person, that’s okay too!

Figure out what exactly you are looking for in a friendship and then move on to making it happen.

It’s okay to be alone as long as you are happy!

Remember, being lonely and being alone are two completely different scenarios.

3. Do not compare yourself to others

Remember, everyone is different and everyone’s needs vary.

You cannot compare your life to others when you’re only seeing a part of the whole picture.

What you see on social media or what you witness in real life may not be the whole story.

Perhaps that girl you’re seeing on Instagram constantly at cocktail parties is in fact lonely and can’t stand being surrounded by silence.

You never really know what people are going through.

4. Spend more time with yourself

It can be really frustrating to be alone at times. But have you ever tried listening to your own thoughts without judgments?

If you haven’t meditated before, try it.

Or do some extremely boring chores like washing the dishes or ironing a lot of clothes.

Do something that helps your mind wander.

Focus on deep breathing.

It will help to journal or read a couple of books on self-awareness.

Doing these activities, will help you not only understand your needs but find peace and happiness.

Do relaxing activities like reading some books that make you feel peace or find happiness, write poems or short stories, watch a happy show that you’ve been meaning to for a while.

Here are a few posts that will help you if you’re looking for things to do when you’re bored:

5. Create personal goals

Every time I find myself alone, I realize I am able to think with clarity.

Spend more time focusing on your personal goals and take your time to come up with physical, mental, spiritual, and financial goals.

Once you have an idea of what goals you want to pursue, make a list of actionable tasks you can do to achieve those goals.

Draft a reasonable timeframe to help you stick to those tasks.

For instance, if you want to become a full-time illustrator, your actionable steps would be:

Practice drawing every day for 2 hours in the morning and 1 hour before sleeping
Build a portfolio on Instagram or Behance
Start gaining clients by Month 3
Build a website to help gain more clients
Start working on a book by Year 2.

Of course, this is just an example but you get the drift!

Having goals keeps us going.

6. Do more things that make you happy

Do more of the things that make you happy.

I recently read Steal Like an Artist and one of the quotes by Jessica Hische that I really loved from that book read, “The work that you do while you procrastinate is probably the work you should be doing for the rest of your life.“

So, sit down and ask yourself what is it you really love doing when you have free time.

Do you listen to a lot of music? If so, why don’t you learn to play a musical instrument?

Do you love to draw or doodle? If so, why not take some online courses and develop that skill?

Do you constantly research how to increase your finances? If so, read a couple of books to help you learn more about budgeting and finance.

We live in a world filled with resources to help us become better at any skill and in any field! Make good use of it.

7. Have things to look forward to

A pro of being alone is the ability to spend less and be more self-reliant and independent.

Make plans to take trips alone or visit family every couple of months.

Space your life out with fun activities that you can look forward to.

As a person who spends a lot of time alone, you have to motivate yourself and be in charge of all the fun you have!

8. Be kind

Life is so much better when you are a nicer person and just spread positivity and kindness around.

There are so many things you can do to make this world a better place.

You can take time off work to help your colleagues with their projects.

You can stop to help people with their tasks like lifting heavy bags or helping old people cross the street.

Even tipping a waiter or being friendly towards people in the service industry will make such a huge difference not only to them but also to you.

One of the best gifts you can give people is your time.

Give back to your local community by volunteering wherever you can. Visit hospitals and donate a part of your earnings to causes you love.

9. Get a pet

For me, dogs have always been the answer. I love nurturing animals in general so I never hesitated to get a dog when I moved to Bangalore.

If a dog is a huge commitment, consider adopting or rescuing a cat.

You can also foster animals to get a taste of what taking care of an animal is like.

Animals don’t only keep you active but help you in a way humans never could. They’re loyal, fun and their love is pure.

10. Spend some quality time with your family

If your family isn’t in the same city as you are, make plans to visit them every once in a while.

Send them letters and gifts when you can and converse with them frequently.

Have meals with them often, offer to do their chores for them, and talk to them about everything that’s happening in your life.

Nurture the relationships you already have.

11. Focus on the positives

Every situation has its upsides and downsides.

And as human beings, we are usually drawn to the negatives. But it is important to focus on the positives.

So, instead of seeing your alone time as a misfortune, think of it as a gift.

You have unlimited time to pursue anything you want to do or create.

Use this time to do something special.

And just because you’re alone now, doesn’t mean you have to be forever.

You can always share your life with people in the future if you want to.

Being alone has multiple perks – you can save a lot of money since you’re only spending on yourself.

You get to make the rules and break them.

12. Cook your own food

This has been a very therapeutic experience for me.

As a person who doesn’t like to exercise, I prefer moving around at my own pace. I love going to the grocery store and picking up ingredients before making a healthy and tasty meal at home.

Cooking is a very personal experience. And cooking at home will help you eat healthier meals.

You also become very mindful of your health and life when you cook at home.

13. Do not over-stress your partner if you have one

It can be very tempting to lean on your partner for everything when you don’t have friends.

But this is very unhealthy and they are eventually going to feel that strain and get stressed out.

Your partner is not responsible for your happiness.

So, if you are keen on making friends, try to find a way to make some or find other outlets in life to cater to your needs.

Final takeaway on how to be happy without friends

There are going to be trying times when you don’t have friends.

It’s not easy and it’s definitely difficult to see the bright side sometimes. But remember that life is so much more than having friends. We have so much to look forward to and I hope this post helped you realize how to be happy without friends.

If you have any questions, please leave them below!

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