There’s a specific kind of heartbreak that hits when you realize… he’s over it.
He’s out there smiling, dating someone new, posting stories like nothing happened. And you?
You’re still clutching the pieces.
Still replaying conversations.
Still waiting for your heart to catch up to what your brain already knows.
Let me tell you something that might hurt a little before it heals: it’s okay to still care. It’s okay to still love him.
It’s okay to not be okay.
But what’s not okay is letting that pain keep you stuck in a life that’s meant to move forward.
You deserve peace, and healing, and nights that don’t end with you crying into your pillow.
So here’s what to do when he’s moved on… and you haven’t. Not from a place of bitterness, but from a place of reclaiming yourself, piece by piece.
My name is Angela, and I specialize in Psychology and Human Relationships. Every post I write, I write from the heart and include my own experiences.
Let’s get into it.
This post contains affiliate links, meaning I may make a commission at no extra cost to you if you decide to click on a link and purchase something. Click here to read the full disclaimer.
1. Stop Stalking His Socials (Even If It Hurts to Let Go)
I’ve written a detailed blog post here on how to do that.
Just a quick check… just to see if he looks happy… just to see if she’s prettier than you.
But let’s be real — it never helps. It only makes the wound deeper.
Mute him. Block if you need to.
And when you feel the urge, write out what you’re actually hoping to find. Closure? Validation? A sign he misses you?
Chances are, what you want can’t be found in his latest post. And the more you scroll, the more power you give him.
2. Grieve What Could’ve Been — Not Just What Was
Sometimes what hurts the most isn’t the loss of him… It’s the loss of who you thought he could be.
The version of the relationship that only existed in your mind.
Maybe you imagined vacations, moving in together, starting a family, growing old. That version felt so real — even if it never actually happened.
So give yourself permission to grieve that future.
I used this guided breakup journal to write letters to the “us” that never was. Cry if you need to.
Light a healing candle like this one and say goodbye to the dream. It sounds cheesy, but it helps.
3. Make a “No Contact” Promise to Yourself (Yes, Even If You’re Still Friends)
Being friends with someone you still love?
That’s just pain with a polite smile.
You don’t need to hate him. But you do need space. No texts. No check-ins. No “Happy Birthday” messages. Not while your heart’s still healing.
Write yourself a breakup contract.
Put it in your notes app or your journal.
Promise not to reach out, even when the loneliness gets loud.
Keep your hands busy with something like an embroidery kit or adult coloring books. Idle hands are heartbreak’s favorite playground.
I have a whole post here on cozy hobbies you can take up to fall in love with your life.
4. Fill the Empty Spaces with Things That Make You Feel Again
When he moved on, he took up space in your daily life. The texts. The good morning messages. The inside jokes. Suddenly, there’s silence.
So fill that silence with things that bring you back to life.
Rewatch the shows you loved before him.
Pick up old hobbies. Take long solo walks with noise-canceling headphones (this is the one I personally own and it’s helped me so much) and listen to healing playlists or comforting audiobooks.
When I was going through it, I played the Studio ghibli soundtrack on repeat and baked something every Sunday.
It sounds silly, but it gave me something to look forward to. Something that was mine.
5. Remind Yourself: You Weren’t Replaced, You Were Released
It might look like he replaced you. Like she got the version of him you never did. Like he’s giving her everything you begged for.
But please remember: you weren’t replaced. You were released.
You were not too much. You were not not enough. You were just not his person. And that’s hard, but it’s also freeing. Because now you don’t have to shrink yourself anymore.
Every time that thought creeps in, grab your affirmation card deck for heartbreak and pull one. Keep it on your mirror. You are not second best.
You are someone’s perfect match — just not his.
6. Reclaim the Parts of You That Got Lost in Loving Him
Sometimes after a breakup, you don’t just miss him — you miss you. The you who laughed more. The you that was excited about life.
So go find her again. Start with little things.
Wear that lipstick he didn’t like. Play that weird playlist he used to skip.
Buy a scent that’s just yours and spray it before bed.
Dance around your living room like no one’s watching (because they’re not).
I remember the first time I laughed — like really laughed — after the breakup. It caught me off guard. It reminded me that healing doesn’t happen all at once. It sneaks in through the cracks.
7. Don’t Rush the Healing Just Because He’s “Fine”
You might feel pressure to match his pace. To bounce back. To date someone new. To prove you’re fine too.
But healing isn’t a race. You don’t have to “win” the breakup. You just have to survive it with your soul intact.
Take slow mornings. Journal with this cozy aesthetic notebook. Read books that make you cry, then books that make you laugh again. Find peace in being still, not busy.
One day, you’ll wake up and realize you didn’t check his profile the night before. And that will feel like a win. Because it is.
8. Trust That Moving On Doesn’t Mean You Never Loved Him
This one’s for the guilt. The part of you that thinks, “If I really loved him, how can I let go?”
You can. And you should.
Loving someone doesn’t mean staying stuck in their absence. It means honoring what you had, and then honoring yourself enough to grow beyond it.
Keep the good memories, but don’t live inside them. Move forward. Build new memories. Love again, when you’re ready.
And when you are? Take yourself on a solo date first. And remember: you are worthy of a love that stays.
Here are a few posts you might like:
How to Stop Checking His Social Media After a Breakup
How to Rebuild Your Self-Esteem After a Breakup
How to Move On From a Breakup Without Closure
How to Get Over a Guy Who Was Never Yours (But You Loved Anyway)
If He Does These 8 Things, He’s Not the One
13 Painful Lessons Divorce Taught Me (What I Wish I Knew)
How to Live Alone After a Painful Divorce (My Personal Experience)
