It’s exhausting, isn’t it?
That constant, nagging worry about what people think of you.
The way your mind replays conversations, overanalyzing every little thing you say.
The fear of being judged, of embarrassing yourself, of not being good enough.
For years, I’ve always worried about what others thought about me.
I suffer from severe acne and I’d sit and pop my pimples or scrub my skin before going out because I was scared people would judge me.
I used to read and research thoroughly before stepping out so that I’d be able to talk about the current news without looking dumb. Everytime, someone said something I didn’t have a clue about, I’d mentally curse myself for not being prepared.
Maybe you hesitate before posting something online because you’re scared of how people will react.
Maybe you replay a comment you made at work, convinced it sounded stupid. Maybe you hold back from being yourself because deep down, you’re afraid of what others might say.
I get it. I really do.
For so long, I shaped my decisions around what I thought people expected of me.
I filtered my personality, kept my opinions quieter, and constantly tried to be the version of myself I assumed people would like best.
I’d even attend parties when I hated loud noise because I wanted people to like me.
But no matter how hard I tried, I never felt at peace—because when you live for the approval of others, you’ll always be chasing something you can never fully control.
The truth is, people will have opinions about you.
Some will like you, some won’t, and that’s okay. You can’t control what other people think—but you can control how much power you give it.
If you’re tired of overthinking, of holding yourself back, of living in fear of judgment, here’s how to start letting go and finally stop worrying about what others think.
1. Realize That Most People Aren’t Thinking About You That Much
This probably took me many years to realize.
Here’s the hard truth: people aren’t thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are.
I know it feels like everyone is paying attention to what you say, what you wear, how you act—but the reality? Most people are too busy thinking about themselves.
For instance, I hardly care about what other people do, I’m so focused on my thoughts and responsibilities I have to do.
I have a To-Do list in my head that I’m mentally checking off every few minutes.
And trust me when I say that everyone is like that.
We all have our own worries, insecurities, and lives to focus on.
The thing you’re obsessing over—the awkward moment, the thing you said, the way you looked? It’s already forgotten by everyone but you.
The next time you catch yourself overanalyzing something, remind yourself: No one is thinking about this as much as I am.
2. Ask Yourself: Do I Even Like These People’s Opinions?
If you’re afraid of what people think of you, take a step back and ask yourself:
- Do I even respect these people’s opinions?
- Do they live the kind of life I want to live?
- If I weren’t scared of judgment, would I even care what they thought?
Often, the people we fear judgment from aren’t even people we admire or want to be like.
And if that’s the case, why give their opinions so much power?
Would you let a stranger control your life? No?
Then why let a random coworker, distant relative, or person from high school dictate how you feel about yourself?
The real friends who love you will always be there for you. They know you inside out and they’re the ones that matter.
3. Accept That Some People Won’t Like You (And That’s Okay)
You could be the kindest, funniest, most interesting person in the world, and some people still won’t like you.
Not because you did anything wrong, but because everyone has different tastes, experiences, and perspectives.
If we were all the same, we’d be in a very boring world.
Some people don’t like pizza. Some people don’t like Beyoncé. Some people don’t like puppies. And if puppies can be disliked, so can you.
Instead of trying to be likable to everyone, focus on being authentic.
The right people—the ones who genuinely align with you—will stay. And the ones who don’t? They were never meant for you anyway.
4. Stop Editing Yourself to Fit In
If you constantly change yourself based on who you’re around, you’ll end up exhausted and disconnected from who you really are.
Trust me, it’s very mentally tiring being someone you’re not.
When you try too hard to be what you think people want, you attract relationships based on a version of you that isn’t real. And it’s not worth it.
The people who truly belong in your life will love the real you.
Not the version of you that’s carefully curated, overly agreeable, or scared to take up space—but the unfiltered, unapologetic, messy, real you.
So instead of filtering yourself to fit in, start asking: What would I do if I weren’t afraid of being judged?
5. Understand That Judgment Says More About Them Than You
When someone criticizes you, it often has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own issues, insecurities, and worldview.
- Someone who judges you for not having a “real” job? Probably insecure about their own career.
- Someone who criticizes your appearance? Likely struggling with their own self-esteem.
- Someone who mocks your passions? Most likely afraid to fully embrace their own.
My dad cannot stand me living in a 3rd world country. He constantly compares me to my cousins who’ve settled in Canada or the US and says that I need to leave.
But I’m genuinely happy here.
Initially, I used to be extremely bothered by his comments. I then realized that these were his insecurities, not mine.
The next time you feel judged, remind yourself: It’s not about me. It’s about them.
And then, let it go.
6. Focus on Living a Life That Feels Good to You
At the end of the day, you’re the one living your life—not the people watching from the sidelines.
So ask yourself: Am I living in a way that makes ME happy?
When you start choosing what feels good for you, rather than what impresses others, you naturally stop worrying about what people think.
Because when you’re fulfilled, outside opinions don’t hold as much weight.
7. Surround Yourself with People Who Make You Feel Safe
I mean this.
From the bottom of my heart.
The right people around you will change your whole damn life.
I’ve written a post here on how to make friends when you have social anxiety. Read it.
The company you keep has a huge impact on how you see yourself.
If you’re always around judgmental, negative, or critical people, it’s no wonder you feel like you’re constantly being judged.
Surround yourself with people who uplift you, who make you feel safe, who allow you to be yourself.
The more you spend time with people who accept you as you are, the less you’ll crave validation from the wrong places.
8. Remind Yourself: You’re Not Here to Impress—You’re Here to Live
You weren’t put on this earth to constantly manage people’s perceptions of you. You weren’t born to be palatable, agreeable, or universally liked.
You are here to live.
To be messy, to make mistakes, to follow what excites you, to be fully and unapologetically yourself.
And you need to remember that you have only 1 life.
So, live it fully.
One day, when you look back at your life, you won’t care about who judged you. You’ll care about whether you lived in a way that made you proud.
So let go of the fear.
Let go of the overthinking. Let go of the pressure to be perfect.
Just be you.
That’s more than enough.
